If Pitchfork Reviewed TV Dinners

We’re no strangers to sweet-and-salty mashups. The coy pairing of sausage and syrup is like playing Lou Reed’s “Metal Machine Music” and “Tiptoe Through The Tulips” at the same time, but backmasked and sped up to 160 b.p.m. in your mom’s garden shed. Just when you think the umami of the sausage links can’t possibly get any louder, out comes a salvo of syrup salvation, BAM, breakfast party for one in the dance hall of your face. Sometimes when you throw a party, you don’t want to invite everyone you know because maybe Davey Beans from the record shop won’t get along with your grandma on kidney dialysis. But cover them all in syrup and bring in the meat and see what happens. Breakfast is served, clownholes.”

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